English Writing - 19

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

 

[Drafting]

I believe the advantages of a big city, including superior education, diverse cultures, and more extracurricular options, outweigh those of the countryside.

Cities offer excellent educational opportunities with top schools and various extracurricular activities, providing resources and experienced teachers for well-rounded development.

Big cities provide unmatched cultural experiences, exposing children to diverse cultures, languages, and lifestyles through museums, theaters, and cultural events, preparing them for a globalized society.

Access to a wide range of extracurricular activities in urban areas, including sports, arts, and technology, contributes to children's physical and mental well-being.

In conclusion, the benefits of raising children in a big city, such as superior education, diverse cultural experiences, and more extracurricular options, make it a more compelling choice for fostering well-rounded and globally prepared individuals.

[Tutor Revision]

I believe the advantages of a big city, including superior education, diverse cultures, and more extracurricular options, outweigh those of the countryside. Cities offer excellent educational opportunities with top schools and various extracurricular activities, providing resources and experienced teachers for well-rounded development. Big cities provide unmatched cultural experiences, exposing children to diverse cultures, languages, and lifestyles through museums, theaters, and cultural events, preparing them for a globalized society. Access to a wide range of extracurricular activities in urban areas, including sports, arts, and technology, contributes to children's physical and mental well-being. In conclusion, the benefits of raising children in a big city, such as superior education, diverse cultural experiences, and more extracurricular options, make it a more compelling choice for fostering well-rounded and globally prepared individuals.

 

[Comment]

You have really good development skills in the English language. Also, you seem to have no trouble writing about your opinions because you didn't make any punctuation or grammar mistakes in your writing. However, it would be good if you could elaborate a little bit more in your writing. Writing more details will make your writing much better!