English Writing - 20

You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets to a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

If I have received money as a gift, I would like to buy tickets to a concert that I like. I think attending the concert is better than buying a piece of jewelry. Firstly, I believe experience is more valuable than other things like buying materials. In this perception, if I go to a concert that I like, I can refresh my mind and get a passion to make me more positive. Secondly, jewelry is just a kind of stone. It is not useful to me. But I can be inspired by attending a concert. It can make me more creative. In conclusion, I think a concert ticket is more valuable than jewelry. even though I have enough money to buy concert tickets and jewelry, I wouldn't pay for jewelry.

 

For this writing, you've made on mistake regarding capitalization. You should not capitalize letters in the middle of a sentence unless it is the pronoun 'I', or a proper noun. Other than that, you did a great job!