English Writing -11

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Overall, the widespread use of the internet has a mostly positive effect on our lives.

 

[Drafting]

I agree that the widespread use of the internet has mostly had a positive impact on our lives. Two key reasons to support this are below. 

The internet has greatly enhanced global communication and provided easy access to information. This has made it easier for people to connect with others worldwide and gain knowledge on various topics.

The Internet has created opportunities for business growth, e-commerce, and remote work. It has also fined education with online courses and resources, contributing to personal and professional development.

While there are challenges like privacy concerns and fake news, these issues can be addressed with appropriate measures. In summary, the internet's overall positive impact on our lives is substantial.

 

[Tutor Revision]

I agree that the widespread use of the internet has mostly had a positive impact on our lives. Two key reasons to support this are below. The internet has greatly enhanced global communication and provided easy access to information. This has made it easier for people to connect with others worldwide and gain knowledge on various topics. The Internet has created opportunities for business growth, e-commerce, and remote work. It has also fined education with online courses and resources, contributing to personal and professional development. While there are challenges like privacy concerns and fake news, these issues can be addressed with appropriate measures. In summary, the internet's overall positive impact on our lives is substantial.

 

[Comment]

You've made no grammar mistakes in this writing. Perfect job! One thing that you can do more on is do elaborate more on your ideas. Including about two to three sentences more to your body paragraphs would be good since this is practice for TOEFL writing. Keep up the amazing work!