English Writing - 14

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

[Drafting]

I agree with the statement that computers have made a lot of high-quality development in our lives. even if there are some disadvantages to the birth of computers, I think there are more benefits to using computers

First, we can access many kinds of information using computers. before the computer era, many people who wanted to know about something didn't search it properly. but now it is so easy to search for something. 

Second, many jobs are made from the computer industry. So the unemployment rate has been decreasing. It is good for the global economy. 

Third, Most tasks or studies can be finished earlier than before. So Surprisingly great inventions or achievements have been made. 

In summary, I think computers that have contributed to improving access to knowledge, increasing jobs, and developing technology and knowledge are helpful in our lives.

 

[Tutor Revision]

I agree with the statement that computers have made a lot of high-quality development in our lives. Even if there are some disadvantages to the birth of computers, I think there are more benefits to using computers. First, we can access many kinds of information using computers. Before the computer era, many people who wanted to know about something didn't search it properly, but now it is so easy to search for something. Second, many jobs are made from the computer industry. So the unemployment rate has been decreasing. It is good for the global economy. Third, most tasks or studies can be finished earlier than before. So surprisingly great inventions or achievements have been made. In summary, I think computers that have contributed to improving access to knowledge, increasing jobs, and developing technology and knowledge are helpful in our lives.

 

[Comment]

For this writing, you've made a few mistakes regarding capitalization in English. At the beginning of a sentence, be sure to capitalize the first letter. Also, you need to put correct ending punctuation at the end of sentences. Besides the punctuation and capitalization mistake, you didn't make any other grammar mistakes so great job. Just be careful of punctuation and capitalization in the next writing.